A Crumbled Delusion
by scrittore18
Summary: "You don't need your mother to hold your hand anymore." The words still echoed in his head. But sometimes, every now and then, he wished she would at least show that she loved him - or at least that he ranked higher than the clue hunt. Jonah centric.


**So I never thought I would write angst, but here it is. I was feeling a bit emotional one day and wrote this.**

 **If you've read my other fic Jonah refers to some of this when talking about his past. But this is also a stand-alone oneshot that deals with Jonah's relationship with his mother. (It's slightly AU)**

 **SHOUT OUT to Kyparissia39 for beta reading this. You are sooooooo stinkin awesome! :D This story would definitely not be what it is without you!**

 **P.S. Everyone go check out this girl's stories, you will be glad you did!**

* * *

 _ **A Crumbled Delusion**_

16-year old Jonah sighed, leaning against the window of his presidential suite, as he looked out at the street below.

Another town. Another concert. More rabid fans screaming his name and calling out their favorite songs. More willing females than he knew what to do with. Some would even say he had more fame and wealth than he knew what to do with too.

 _This is everything you've worked for. Everything you've dreamed about. Or, at least your branch has dreamed about._

His branch. The Janus. Some of the world's greatest actors, singers, musicians, poets, designers, and on and on and on. If there was someone with creativity and/or artistic talent, the chances of them being a Janus were high. They were a branch to be proud of, loaded with many talents and skills. And he was proud of them. He was proud to _be_ one of them.

But today he didn't have the energy to muster up any pride. Not today, when he had just received the worst news of his life.

He had been disowned. By his own mother, Cora Wizard.

 _Disowned._

A word that was so common, one that was used so flippantly in jokes. But this word had more meaning to him now.

 _Disowned. Left alone. Rejected. Written-off. Thrown away._

He felt despair try to creep into his mind again as he stood there and reflected on his and his mother's broken relationship. Nothing he had ever done or accomplished had been good enough for her. Over and over again Jonah had sought his mother's approval by doing everything she and the branch had ever told him to do. But over and over again it hadn't been enough. Instead of smiling and saying _'I'm proud of you Jonah'_ when he had won Grammys and other awards, she had just nodded and started rattling about the clue hunt and about how his fame would help the Janus win.

' _Yo, aren't you proud of me anyways?'_ He had wanted to scream. ' _I produced this entire song without any help, and it's #1 on the charts right now. Doesn't that mean anything by itself?'_

But it hadn't of. He still remembered the day it had finally sunk in, the day that he finally felt resigned to the fact that Cora didn't really care about any of his accomplishments.

 _ **-Flashback-**_

" _Yes Jonah, what do you need?" His mother asked, not even looking up from her computer._

" _Uh, hey mom."_

 _She didn't answer his greeting, just kept typing so he said hesitantly, "So you know I'm nominated for a Grammy right? For artist and song of the year?"_

" _Yes." Cora said in a monotone voice, frowning at the screen in front of her. Then she mumbled something to herself but Jonah couldn't pick it out._

" _Ok well, I was wondering…" He trailed nervously, and finally his mother looked up._

" _Just ask me so I can get back to typing this report. Do you need me to pull some strings to ensure you get the awards?"_

" _No!" Jonah said, surprised at her words._

 _While cheating was part of the Cahill way, he worked really hard the past year and wanted to see if he could win either or both of them by himself. At thirteen, he would be the youngest person to date that had won a Grammy award and somehow knowing that he did it on his own would make him feel prouder._

 _Jonah took a deep breath and just spit out the question. "Will you go to the award show with me?"_

 _There was silence, and he saw a stunned look cross her face, then puzzlement. "But why do you need me there? I don't think my presence would alter the win. Like I said I can call up-"_

" _I just thought it would be nice if you could come. That's all." He blurted, and then winced, knowing that he sounded like a needy kid or something instead of a teenager who was taking the world by storm._

 _His mother must have thought the same thing, because now she frowned at him in disapproval. "Your father is going you know, as your manager. And I have things to do here. We're close to getting another clue from the Thomas."_

" _Can't someone else do it?" He snapped out, suddenly annoyed. Did it always have to be about the clues? "You're my mom."_

" _I'm also the Janus branch leader. And besides, you're thirteen and have millions of adoring fans if you need an ego boost."_

 _He started to protest but she held up a hand. "You don't need your mother to hold your hand anymore."_

 _Jonah felt the words like a punch in the gut. Hold his hand?_

' _I just wanted you to be there to show that you support me! Because I don't feel like you care sometimes.' he wanted to scream the words out at her but didn't. There wouldn't be any point to it. So instead he hardened his facial expression and turned to leave._

" _Fine. See ya later." He said flippantly._

 _He heard her mutter, "A temperamental celebrity already. Or maybe it's just teen moodiness."_

 _That hurt too, but again, he resisted the urge to let the pain sink in. She was right in a way; he had his fans. And his dad._

 **-End Flashback-**

Now, blankly staring down at the hustle and bustle going on below him, he clung to what little hope the memory of that day gave him.

 _I have my dad. And the fans. And that should be enough; at least, it has to be enough now._

His dad. Probably the only person who truly loved him right now.

If fact, his dad had tried to talk to him earlier, to console him and had even assured him that his mother - or 'ex-mother' now - would change her mind. He had firmly stated that he was going to talk to her face-to-face the next chance he got, but Jonah had cut him off and said that it didn't matter. Why even bother trying? Cora Wizard loved the idea of power and her branch getting the serum so much that she didn't even flinch over disowning her own flesh and blood. He shivered as he recalled her emotionless tone on the phone when she informed him of her decision.

 _So cold._

Maybe he should close the window. The chill that had suddenly overtaken him had to be from the wind coming in.

Jonah did so and then stepped back into the room, a room that screamed 'luxury', 'privilege', and 'wealth', things that he was used to. But the room didn't bring him what he longed for - acceptance and love. As soon as the thought washed over him he snorted.

Acceptance and love? What was he, ten years old again? He didn't need his mom anyways.

Now anger replaced the numbness that had wracked his body the past hour. He reveled in the new emotion, almost relieved that he could feel again. Feeling _anything_ was better than nothing at all. Reaching for a random object, he threw it against the wall and watched as it shattered on the Persian carpet. Then he cursed, of course it would be his cell phone. Not that he couldn't get another one, but still.

Then, as he stared at the object blindly, another feeling took over him - determination. He was wasting his time sitting here, obsessing over what he had never received, and that was his mother's love. Oh, she had said it to him a few times, but he didn't believe her anymore. She loved the clue hunt. And that was about it.

Heading for the door, Jonah decided it was time to make his own path in life. There were tons of perks to living the 'rapper dream life', and he was planning on taking advantage of them all. He would create his own happiness, far away from his ex-mother and far away from anything that resembled the clue hunt.

He was finished. Fighting against the pain that was trying to creep in again at his decision, he focused on the words going through his mind and repeated them over and over again to himself, willing them to sink in.

 _I don't care if she doesn't love me. It doesn't matter. I don't need her._ _ **I don't.**_

And that was the moment that Jonah Wizard realized - with a bitter and sinking heart, as the words hit him somewhere deep inside - that the only one he could really trust from now on was himself.

 _I'm on my own. From now on, it's me against the world._

He knew that with a certainty that both crushed and hardened him, numbed him and made him more determined than ever to rise up above the feeling of rejection Cora had caused him to feel time and time again.

 _I don't need her._ He ran the words through his brain, just to make sure they were firmly settled in. _I don't care._

* * *

 **Yeah…I just really want to hug Jonah now...**

 **Let me know your thoughts...it's a little different than stuff I normally write...**


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